WELCOME TO
THE INTERNATIONAL WEB OF CHEESE!
it's a Cheesie world!
     
Hi there and welcome to the wonderful world of congealed bovine lactate. Cheese has a culture all it's own and so the misguided purpose of this cheesy web site is to increase universal cheese awareness. Cheese isn't just something yellow and mailable found in the back of the fridge, it's EVERYWHERE! where ever fatty acids are allowed to ferment in a bacterial wonderland, the bi-product known as cheese is excreted. Cheese isn't just made from old moldy milk either, it's prepared from a vast cornucopia of strange chemicals and suspicious substances. The most frightfully unappetizing trash finds new life through it's benevolent incorporation into cheeses. Ever wonder what goes into "Head Cheese"? Well lets just say that NOTHING in nature is allowed to go to waste while there is a potential cheesy possibility.

Take Cheese Whiz for example, This incredible invention of the industrial food revolution has single handidly solved the international waste and sewerage recycling problems of the world.

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Click here to access
THE INCREDIBLE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF CHEESE!
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Click here to learn FACTS ABOUT CHEESE!
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Click here to read Monty Python's Cheese Shop Sketch!
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Click here to try and find the CHEESE!
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cheese in space!
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DISCLAIMER:

This webpage and all the stolen text, formating, scripts, and picturs reflects the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and vague whimsicle inclinations of myself; it does not reflect the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and/or vague whimsicle inclinations of my company(assumeing I could actualy hold a job), my friends (they will all agree here ;-Þ), , my hamster, my headlice, my underwear, or my trashbuilt computer. All rights reserved, all lefts deserved. This webpage is subject to change without notice. Bits are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to other peoples webpages, real or immaginary, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This coding is a void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. shoddy HTML is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. Viewer assumes full liabilities. I am not liable for damages due to use or misuse or inability to understand any content. I'm an equal opportunity Hyper Media anoyer. No shirt, no shoes, no HTML. Quantities are limited. Quality is limited. Available only while supplies last. Quality may vary. Since coding is hand-crafted using NotePad and alot of good wishes, there will be slight differences to your personal reality. When defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but defer to an authorized java Witchdoctor. No Parking. No Standing. No Spitting. Posted no Bills. Parental Advisory - explicit source code. No one over 17 admitted. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Limit one per family. No money back offered or infered. No purchase necessary. Cache and carry. Everything in this webpage is trademarked and licensed through companies with big fat nasty Lawyers. You do not need to be present to win. Some assembly and CGI required. Batteries not included. Action figures sold separately. Take a number please. Preservatives added to improve freshness. Condoms and other forms of sexual protection must be worn at all times. Hard hat area. Sealed for your protection. Don't call me and I wont call you. This webpage is for *EXTERNIAL* use only. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your magic eight ball. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures. Store in a cool dry place. Refrigerate after opening. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Avoid contact with eyes, nose, skin, or any active electrical hardwear. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. If this coding begins to smoke, run, do not walk, towards the nearest exit. Do not place near any magnetic source. Smoking this webpage may be hazardous to your health and posibly result in permanent featle death. You are not in Kansas any more. Employees must wash hands before using the restroom. Codeing used in this webpage was made from 100% recycled HTML tags. Prosecutors will be violated. No animals were used to test the loadtime performance of this webpage. No extra salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, it will acure naturaly. If symptoms persist, delete your hard-drive immediately. If you suspect an overloaded browser, uninstall immediately. Constantly volatile when exposed on CRT screens. The white zone is for passenger loading and unloading only. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Free software upload offers valid only at participating FTP sites. Slightly higher outside of the continental US. Oders may very. Allow four to six seconds for delivery. The yellow zone is for passenger loading and unloading only. Motor vehicles only.

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This disclaimer supersedes all previous disclaimers both real and immaginary.